Momento Mori

Friday last was a landmark of sorts. I finally got to go down to the morgue.

See, for eight weeks of this semester, I have to rotate from my usual hospital to a different one. Lucky me, my rotation is at the same hospital which houses the county morgue. Occasionally, a tech has to go down there to x-ray a cadaver for various reasons. I've been trying to get down there for weeks. I'm morbid like that.

My reaction was different than I thought, but not because I was nauseated or faint.

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Unsurprisingly, I've been thinking a lot about death since then. About the suddenness of it all. About the existence of a soul, an afterlife, of something beyond this, something more.

I envy religious people sometimes. Specifically, I envy the certainty that they have concerning what happens to us after we die. The peace of mind that accompanies it. I don't have that faith, and I doubt I ever will.