Decisions, Decisions

My last day at my crappy part-time job is tomorrow. I was planning on using the next week to finish packing and go talk to someone in Job Placement at my college. (He said that if I provided him with the names and contact information of the hospitals I'm interested in in San Diego, he'd help set me up with interviews.) The more observant people reading this have undoubtedly noted the past tense verb.

My financial situation is not what I was hoping it to be. The increased price of gasoline, along with the lack of business (and thus lack of tips) at my job have taken their toll on my bank account. Oh, I have enough to get myself out there and get an apartment. However, I would need to get a job immediately in order to support myself beyond the first month. Not a comforting thought.

Neither is the idea of having no safety net. No friends, no family. No one to help if something were to go wrong. (And something would undoubtedly occur My car is over 12 years old and not in the best condition for starters. It wouldn't take much for it to break down.)

My parents have presented another option to me: stay in the MidWest another six months or so. Either somewhere in Michigan or it's vicinity - Chicago, for example. Get a job at a hospital and build up some more funds and experience. Get a feel for living on my own a bit closer to friends and family.

The idea makes sense, but...

I'm great at getting ideas. I'm pretty good at starting projects. I am horrible at following through and finishing things. By staying in the area, I feel like I'm just giving up again. Like I'm once again letting a plan fall through because I'm too scared.

And then there are all these little things...

Like, well... my parents had a two-ton diesel van that they used for traveling. We were going to use it to help move my stuff out west. A couple of weeks ago, though, some rich kid driving a brand new Volvo was speeding, playing with his iPod, and ran through a stop sign. My dad had enough time to slam on the brakes and swerve a bit, which was the only thing that saved the idiot's life, but both vehicles were totaled. Since we only had the cheapest insurance, and Michigan is a no-fault state, we don't get anything in compensation. And I no longer have something to help me move.

And a few days ago, one of my cats got out and I haven't seen him since. Both of the people who were originally going to move with me have been unable to follow through with the plans. (Although it's not their fault.) Things like this keep happening, and I can't help but wonder if they're signs, ya know? Like maybe I'm not meant to move out there, or at least not right now.

On the other hand, I passed all of my classes and my Board Exams, which could be seen as good omens, right?

Or perhaps I'm just reading too much into random events.