Rest In Peace

Pudd Tat
1 April 1986 - 6 October 2003

My cat died yesterday morning.

I... I didn't realize it would be this painful. It's taken a lot just to get through the day without breaking down. There's this huge fucking hole right in the middle of me. I didn't just lose a pet; I lost my closest friend who has been with me since I was five years old.

Part of me still can't believe that it happened... I woke up at about 4:30 a.m. yesterday morning, and heard her wheezing for breath. She was flopped out on her side, coughing up foamy saliva. Terrified, I scooped her up (she was so limp... like a ragdoll) and dashed upstairs. After getting my mom up, I managed to get ahold of the vet, who told us to meet him at the clinic. When we got there, she was almost gone. Her lungs were giving out, and there was nothing we could do but put her down.

(Shit. Just writing about it has made me start crying all over again. I just can't deal with this... I'm not ready for this. Why did she have to leave me? I still need her so much...)

( More rambling about my cat. )

And for those who are wondering "What the hell kind of name is 'Pudd Tat'?"... I was only five; give me a break. As to where I got the name... < Tweety Bird voice > "I tawt I taw a puddy tat! I did! I did taw a puddy tat!" < /voice >